Observations
Sometimes fluff.....sometimes deep. Just depends on the day...
Changing Times...
Who would have thought last year at this time, we would all be wearing masks, social distancing, job loss, and quarantining ourselves locked away in our homes binge watching the Netflix sensation Tiger King. Come on, you know it’s true.
The world as we once knew it, has changed forever. Over the last 4 months, no matter what country we all reside in, nothing will ever be the same. As they say “The only thing constant is change”. Well, ain’t that the truth!
As the months quickly fly by, I had time to reflect on what this all means to me. Is it really that inconvenient in the big picture? Now don’t get me wrong, this ambiguous Covid-19 is nothing to downplay, but the effects of our mental state are more important on how we handle these changing times.
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I have discussed this with many of my colleagues and friends on the current work life balance we are adapting to. The majority of them overwhelmingly said they felt less pressure and stress with commuting for one, and starting to find balance, and peace, in their lives. I agree, especially commuting to NYC everyday, It steels the
“ Life energy” from right under you, with the wear and tear your body goes through. You don’t realize it until you no longer are on the conveyor belt day after day.
So where do we go from here? What’s the future going to look like? Will Zoom and Skype be a new normal in the workplace, or to communicate with loved ones from across the country? Well, who knows? I sure don’t, but perhaps it’s a time to regroup start with a clean slate for at least some parts of our lives. Perhaps we can get back to the good old days when as a kid (of the 80’s) we can all sat down and the dinner table together and talked about our day. For some of the millennial they may have pictured the 80’s at a time when black and white silent movies existed.
I definitely feel a shakeup going on here, and old habits are forcing us to change and create better ones and what that looks like is very personal. Some of us may resist the old ways of life, and others may have a real “Come to Jesus” moment of re-invention.
Personally speaking, I feel long are the days of sleepwalking through life, going through the motions and surviving waiting until the weekend arrives.
During this time, I recommend taking up a hobby, or on-line class or whatever you may have neglected. Connect more with family and friends (even if it may be from a distance). It’s what will help us in the long haul as we await new changes upon us.
Flip Flops, Iced Coffee and Pedicures oh my...
When I think of New York in the Summer, I think of the hit 1966 lyrics by the band The Lovin' Spoonful. "Hot town, summer in the city, back of my neck getting dirty and gritty..." the say it all.
New York is brutally hot and uncomfortable 3 months of the year. People tend to let their hair down and become more carefree about everything from attire to attitude. I observed a trend that happens during this brief season.
I have found New Yorkers have a little more spring in their step, or should I say spring in their flip flops. I also enjoy wearing mine, with a fresh florescent pedicure with my favorite "Fancy Fuchsia" color nail polish. Click clack, as women with purpose walk down the streets. I love how it drowns out the traffic replacing it with shoe chatter. In true New York fashion, women stop and say " Are those Tory Burch, or I love your flip flops are they Michael Kors?"
I also love the summer iced coffee rituals, or as I like to call it a movement. The morning lines at Starbucks are packed with all walks of life practically clawing the walls and running people over for their cup of Joe. It's a melting pot of people from corporate America, too well dressed Administrative Assistants rushing to get to work on time, to a homeless man yelling " I want coffee with ice!" Hey, everyone needs coffee in the morning. No judgements here!
That's what is so great about New York, every season offers a different flavor. There's always something new trending. Well, it's time for a refill...
Ciao!
It was late October when I finally sold my apartment after having it on and off the market for several years. It was the answer prayer of freedom I was waiting for the history of My “ Old Life” will no longer follow me into my new chapter. I drove out of the parking lot and never looked back. I breathed a sign of relief, ready for a new beginning. My car was packed solid with clothes, hangers, and boxes of God knows what. My car looked like Lamont’s car in the hit 70’s sitcom Son Sanford and Son.In retrospect, I was unaware on that faithful day, that the next journey was much bigger than the apartment sale.
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It was more of an “Inside job” of self-exploration that I’m now only beginning to scratch the surface with. I have found that we all have different degrees of stories we tell ourselves that keep us safe. For me, my excuse was that "my apartment wouldn't sell, so I can’t move on.
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It’s what kept me hostage from growing and gave me a false sense of safety. My rose-colored glasses started to melt as life, and fear of the future started to seep in. Although I didn't know it yet, the universe had other plans for me. As the months unfolded, the beginning of my journey was nothing, but easy.
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They say, things happen for a reason, and we do outgrow people, and circumstances. The beauty of life is, that if you make a wrong turn, your internal GPS will get you back on the highway of life. That is, If we are ready to listen. What I now call my “3 month” Retreat” was an amazing experience in that I was very fortunate to have a great support system of friends. After many deep conversations and much contemplation, I decided to move back to New York, where I felt I had unfinished business. I learned that sometimes the cliché line
“ The grass isn’t always greener” is true.
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Happiness can be found anywhere, but requires work. Although it was right to move on from my old apartment, but a small shift in perspective is what was needed all along. Moving back gave me a new perspective and a new and improved outlook. With no concrete job lined up, I still felt a sense of peace to move forward anyway. It turns out less than a week back, I accepted a job and housing in Manhattan followed.
When I was a child I watched the adults get together and play the Milton Bradley popular board game called, The Game of Life. I always wanted to play mainly, because I liked the colorful plastic cars, and of course the play money. I never understood the symbolism that represents a person's travel, and journey throughout life, jobs, and relationships etc. As an adult, that board game is very poignant, and simulates life in so many ways. The truth is, it’s just a game, but we are in charge of our own choices and will go through many metamorphoses throughout life, just like The Game of Life…
Falling to awareness
For quite some time now, I have felt stuck in my life, emotionally, and spiritually. Recently it has manifested into deep resentments of my job responsibilities, and past choices that I have made in my life. At work in particular, all week long I had felt a building up of frustration from my “superiors” and their condescending behavior toward me.My boss gave me an assignment: “ Bring these water glasses and coffee cups to the meeting,” as she glared at me with disdain. I felt like Cinderella with no ball to look forward to. Angrily I marched downstairs in my two-inch heels. I thought of the sadness that I, at this stage of the game, was reduced to little more than a water girl, “a holly go lightly.” But, light is not how I went down.
They say it takes something really big to wake us up and get out of our own heads. On this faithful busy afternoon at work, I got that hit in the head, literally and figuratively. Just like that in an instance I had fallen down the stairs at work, tumbling down in slow motion, as if I was a stunt woman in a movie. By the grace of God, I didn’t break any body parts, but my legs got bruised pretty awful. As I sat there at the bottom of the stairs to collect myself, all these emotions flooded my mind, anger, sadness, embarrassment, and a few 4-letter words, which I will leave for you to figure out.
After a mini melt down in a conference room, and the “powers that be” came to investigate what had happened, and to see if I was ok. I started to finally get some clarity on what role I had played in this unfortunate fall I took that day. Although I did not deliberately tumble down the stairs, I started to retract my emotional state and the ball of negativity I had been holding onto for a while. I couldn’t help thinking that my ugly fall was a manifestation of all my anger and frustration with what was wrong in my life, instead of focusing on what was right in my life. I believe it actually had nothing to do with work, but it’s never about what it’s about. This was my “Aha” moment.
Two bruised legs, ego, and dignity later; I went home and made a conscious decision to work with me. I can’t control what others think of me, or what their opinions are. I only have control of how I behave, and what I want to let into my life. It seems pretty simple, huh? Not exactly, because life is full of surprises and curve balls that we have to deal with, and sometimes we have to weave in and out of lanes to avoid an accident. However, I will say this experience has certainly made me think of how much energy we bottle up and how it affects us negatively, and how a good attitude and being in a state of gratitude and love can work in the same domino effect bringing light and positive vibrations to us. So the next time I start getting carried away by my emotions, I realized that I had better hold on to the railing; unless Hollywood comes looking for a stunt double.
Finding Peace through a Global Pandemic
We are at a time of uncertainty in the world with self-quarantines, city lockdowns, and overrun hospitals fighting this dangerous virus. I know I’m not alone in looking to find some normality, and peace during this chapter in our history.
As a kid, my Mother used to say, “Get a new hobby”, Go outside and play, and “That TV will drain your brain”. Now more than ever, do I understand what sound advice that was. We all can apply that simple wisdom to our current situation.
As we are approaching week three at home, working from our laptops is beginning to feel a lot liken the movie Groundhogs day, where every day runs into the next. With so many unknowns and the 24-hour news updates, I decided to apply those childhood words of wisdom from over 35 years ago.
Those words are what prompted me start writing this blog post, which I had been collecting virtual dusk for months. It’s one of my hobbies that I enjoy and was too busy to keep up under while working long hours in the city.
Since spring is in full swing, I recommend taking a break walking around your neighborhood or backyard to observe the many gorgeous colors. Personally, I find it gives so much peace, clarity and the colorful flowers in bloom doesn’t hurt either. The last recommendation resonated with me strongly, in these uncertain times we want to feel connected and up to date on this pandemic, but limiting your time to news may be beneficial. I’m not suggesting tune out, and of course we want to be informed, but less is more. I feel it will cause more anxiety, and the repetitive negativity can’t be healthy for us, I limit the news to morning g only, so I can get started with my day,
I would love to know what you are doing to keep busy and productive during these uncertain times Are you cooking more, organizing, binge watching a new Netflix series? Let me know in the comments below and most importantly, be safe and remember this too shall pass…
The Game of Life
WELCOME
It was late October when I finally sold my apartment after having it on and off the market for several years. It was the answer prayer of freedom I was waiting for the history of My “ Old Life” will no longer follow me into my new chapter. I drove out of the parking lot and never looked back. I breathed a sign of relief, ready for a new beginning. My car was packed solid with clothes, hangers, and boxes of God knows what. My car looked like Lamont’s car in the hit 70’s sitcom Son Sanford and Son.
In retrospect, I was unaware on that faithful day, that the next journey was much bigger than the apartment sale. It was more of an “Inside job” of self-exploration that I’m now only beginning to scratch the surface with. I have found that we all have different degrees of stories we tell ourselves that keep us safe. For me, my excuse was that "my apartment wouldn't sell, so I can’t move on. "It’s what kept me hostage from growing and gave me a false sense of safety.
My rose-colored glasses started to melt as life, and fear of the future started to seep in. Although I didn't know it yet, the universe had other plans for me. As the months unfolded, the beginning of my journey was nothing, but easy. They say, things happen for a reason, and we do outgrow people, and circumstances. The beauty of life is, that if you make a wrong turn, your internal GPS will get you back on the highway of life. That is, If we are ready to listen.
What I now call my “3 month” Retreat” was an amazing experience in that I was very fortunate to have a great support system of friends. After many deep conversations and much contemplation, I decided to move back to New York, where I felt I had unfinished business. I learned that sometimes the cliché line “ The grass isn’t always greener” is true. Happiness can be found anywhere, but requires work. Although it was right to move on from my old apartment, but a small shift in perspective is what was needed all along.
Moving back gave me a new perspective and a new and improved outlook. With no concrete job lined up, I still felt a sense of peace to move forward anyway. It turns out less than a week back, I accepted a job and housing in Manhattan followed.When I was a child, I watched the adults get together and play the Milton Bradley popular board game called, The Game of Life. I always wanted to play mainly, because I liked the colorful plastic cars, and of course the play money. I never understood the symbolism that represents a person's travel, and journey throughout life, jobs, and relationships etc.
As an adult, that board game is very poignant, and simulates life in so many ways. The truth is, it’s just a game, but we are in charge of our own choices and will go through many metamorphoses throughout life, just like The Game of Life…
​
Disappointment Brings Many Awakenings
After a long, arduous road, I finally thought I had a buyer interested in my apartment. I had had it on the market for over a year, and have come close to selling it before. This time I felt different. The third time’s the charm, so they say. I had had enough of single life in the dog-eat- dog city of Manhattan and was eager to make a clean break from the city and find me a nice cowboy to rustle up.
Finally, There was a woman who was seriously interested in the apartment. She had come several times to view it and seemed about to give her final “I do”. The realtor was elated and already signing checks for her new tiara.
I couldn’t help dreaming about how I would decorate my new pad, and enjoy the new chapter I felt was about to begin. I felt that finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel, or in my case the Lincoln Tunnel. I have always believed that once a person graduates from a lesson, you move on to the next level or chapter in your life.
The experiences and lessons over the last 10 years have been life changing. I have learned about self-worth and forgiveness, met interesting characters along the way, and that it was now time to move forward to new adventures. Graduation day had come, or at least I thought so…
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As I sat on the couch with a celebratory cocktail, I got the phone call. The call that blind-sighted me, and destroyed “ My Plan” that had been pulled out from underneath me. The buyer, that had been looking quite seriously for a month decided not to buy.
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Was this a cruel joke? Am I being punished? Of course, my Catholic upbringing had crept into my head. Is this payback for not always being forthcoming with people, or maybe it’s payback for stealing a barrette and a pack of KitKats at Caldor’s when I was 11?
I started to feel like Nancy Karrigan after she was shin-whipped by Tanya Harding’s goon ex-husband. Except I was not on an ice ring, I was on my couch with an empty bottle of wine and a half eaten piece of Bonnie Bell cheese. “ Why now, Why me, Why me? After an hourlong pity party for one. I began to realize that the blubbering wasn’t getting me anywhere. I began to understand that in life, your plan may not always parallel God’s plan. That said, this was the beginning of my awakening and many ‘aha” moments to follow.
In time, I started to appreciate and make peace with where I am in my life, and to create new experiences right now. I was not ready to give up, so in the meantime, I decided to see my situation in a new light.
I began to adjust my lens and look at this as more of a blessing, to look straight ahead, and focus on my strengths. Literally, I started to get a life. I stopped waiting for good things to happen, when in fact I already had many blessings.
As the month unfolded, I enrolled in a writing class that I had been putting off, and started to bloom where I was planted, right here in one of the greatest cities in the world.
Not selling my apartment, is what prompted me to create this Blog so I can inspire, and enlighten, and encourage myself and hopefully others who share a similar condition: LIFE. No one knows what the future holds, but to be in the moment and being is all we have. My Mantra for tonight: "God's delays are not God's denials... zzzz"
Please feel free to add any of your own experiences, or input as you wish.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned…
Are We There Yet...
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After a long, arduous road, I finally thought I had a buyer interested in my apartment. I had had it on the market for over a year, and have come close to selling it before. This time I felt different. The third time’s the charm, so they say. I had had enough of single life in the dog-eat- dog city of Manhattan and was eager to make a clean break from the city and find me a nice cowboy to rustle up.
Finally, There was a woman who was seriously interested in the apartment. She had come several times to view it and seemed about to give her final “I do”. The realtor was elated and already signing checks for her new tiara.
I couldn’t help dreaming about how I would decorate my new pad, and enjoy the new chapter I felt was about to begin. I felt that finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel, or in my case the Lincoln Tunnel. I have always believed that once a person graduates from a lesson, you move on to the next level or chapter in your life. The experiences and lessons over the last 10 years have been life changing. I have learned about self-worth and forgiveness, met interesting characters along the way, and that it was now time to move forward to new adventures. Graduation day had come, or at least I thought so…
As I sat on the couch with a celebratory cocktail, I got the phone call. The call that blind-sighted me, and destroyed “ My Plan” that had been pulled out from underneath me. The buyer, that had been looking quite seriously for a month decided not to buy.
Was this a cruel joke? Am I being punished? Of course, my Catholic upbringing had crept into my head. Is this payback for not always being forthcoming with people, or maybe it’s payback for stealing a barrette and a pack of KitKats at Caldor’s when I was 11?
I started to feel like Nancy Karrigan after she was shin-whipped by Tanya Harding’s goon ex-husband. Except I was not on an ice ring, I was on my couch with an empty bottle of wine and a half eaten piece of Bonnie Bell cheese. “ Why now, Why me, Why me? After an hourlong pity party for one. I began to realize that the blubbering wasn’t getting me anywhere. I began to understand that in life, your plan may not always parallel God’s plan. That said, this was the beginning of my awakening and many ‘aha” moments to follow.
In time, I started to appreciate and make peace with where I am in my life, and to create new experiences right now. I was not ready to give up, so in the meantime, I decided to see my situation in a new light.
I began to adjust my lens and look at this as more of a blessing, to look straight ahead, and focus on my strengths. Literally, I started to get a life. I stopped waiting for good things to happen, when in fact I already had many blessings. As the month unfolded, I enrolled in a writing class that I had been putting off, and started to bloom where I was planted, right here in one of the greatest cities in the world.
Not selling my apartment, is what prompted me to create this Blog so I can inspire, and enlighten, and encourage myself and hopefully others who share a similar condition: LIFE. No one knows what the future holds, but to be in the moment and being is all we have. My Mantra for tonight: "God's delays are not God's denials... zzzz"
Please feel free to add any of your own experiences, or input as you wish.
​
Thank you for reading and stay tuned…